zencadet (zencadet) wrote,

What the Chuck!?

What a bizarre dream I had last night.

Considering I don't often have dreams with celebrities, let alone ones that I have no real interest in.

A bunch of geeks or geeky criminals had, in the boot of their car, much to their horror and surprised, Chuck Norris, who they had apparently kidnapped by accident. Don't ask me how, they had no idea either. "What the fuck!? How the hell did you manage to kidnap Chuck Norris by mistake?" asked the leader. "We don't know!" cried the hapless mooks. "What do we do?" Over and over, they would open the boot and look at the unconscious body despairing at what to do. However, the last time they open it the boot does that clever film thing of not closing fully and it bounces open slightly, just long enough to see Chuck's eyes wide open, but nobody spots this. Then as the boot rests slightly to a close, shrouding Chuck in darkness, all the 'camera' is left with are his glowing (yes, glowing) blue eyes.

I then promptly woke with an unholy thirst bordering on a dehydration likely to provoke a spiritual awakening. Scrambling to the kitchen to down a couple of glasses of water in quick succession, I then returned to bed, having now denied the world my enlightenment to the nature of the universe.

I very briefly had another dream. This time, two people were desperately trying to rid themselves of a huge tablet the size of a house (yet able to be comfortably carried by two people) upon which were emblazoned Chuck Norris Facts (the only thing I really know about Chuck Norris, considering I have never actually watched one of his films as far as I know). Coming to a part of the road above some houses, a grassy slope leading into the back-gardens of a row of houses, they ditched the tablet, careful not to hit the garden with some people in it. This garden had an estate agent in it, showing around a couple, except this estate agent had a dark secret: he was being stalked by Chuck Norris.

Seriously! What the Chuck!? I don't even rate him beyond the humorous fun 'facts'.

Sometimes I really wonder what the hell goes on in my head when I'm not paying attention.
Tags: chuck norris, rants

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